Let it go, let it go, let it go ...

Ok, so maybe that is a bit of a weak twist on one of my favourite Christmas songs ... Let it snow ... :), but hey this is what artistic license is all about right?  Seriously though, it is what I want to ask you to do. 

2012 Has been a HUGE learning year for me.  I started this blog, finished my personal coaching course and qualified with honours, I started a company, I learnt how to set up a website from scratch and so the list continues.  Looking back now, I was destined to achieve ... it was, after all, my word for 2012.   Part of my learning, as I continue my personal journey to find my inner (Slender) Goddess, was having a tarot reading for the first time ever.  I had always been curious about Tarot and my "sister-of-the-heart" treated me to one earlier this year.  I took away a number of valuable lessons and thoughts.

The one, however, that stood out the most for me was ... "Surrender and Release".  After telling me how I have a tendency to bottle everything up inside and causing myself unnecessary extra stress, I needed to find a way to surrender my worries, fears, anxieties and troubled thoughts and release them to the Divine.  "Wow!", I thought, "I've never thought of that.  Maybe I could give it a try and see how it goes."  At this point, I should tell you that I suffer from insomnia when I bottle things up ... doesn't take a genius to figure out why.  So I went home, and that night as I was ending my prayers, I tacked on to the end "Please take these worries, fears, anxieties and troubled thoughts from me as I surrender and release them into your safekeeping."  It was said with meaning and intent, and let me tell you it worked!

Today, I have been introspective.  I've looked back on this past year to reflect on all that has been, come and gone.  What I have learned.  And how I can use these lessons in 2013.  That's when it hit me!  What if I took time to work through the issues I have that keep me trapped in this overweight body and "surrender and release" them to my Divine?  Surely it would begin to heal the wounds and scars that remain after 38 years of battling with my weight issues?  I know I didn't create them, but I have moments where I aid them.  What if i just "let it go, let it go, let it go" ... ?  I realise that there are probably many people out there who have already come to this conclusion but it has taken me this long to get here.  So I encourage you, now, to do the same.  Whatever religion you are devoted to.  Whomever you deem to be your Divine.  Surrender and release what no longer serves you but takes up unnecessary space in your head to them.  Ask for their help and guidance.  I intent to because I know I am worth it.  But you know what else I know?  I know that you, too, are worth it.

So, as we exit 2012 with our sight firmly focused on the awesomeness of 2013 (for it will, indeed, be an awesome year) give yourself permission to let go of what no longer serves you but continues to weigh you down, both literally and figuratively .  After all, change starts with you.

May you be blessed with an abundance in this new year ahead ... of love, health, happiness, wealth, wisdom and slenderness.

Until next year,
Warmest regards,
The Slender Goddess

So this is Christmas, and what have we done? ...

I am unashamedly a Christmas junkie.  I love everything to do with Christmas.  As a Christian, it is my favourite time of the year.  But, not for the gifts.  Of course it's always nice to receive a lovely gift, all beautifully wrapped, but that is not what Christmas is all about for me.

I love the togetherness of Christmas ... time spent as a family putting decorations up, and on the tree.  The time spent together with family and loved ones around the dining table ... the laughter and the happiness that you hear expressed as we all sit around and chat, joke, tease and just enjoy each other's  company.  That is the meaning of Christmas to me ... the being together at this precious time of the year.  And yes, I can just hear some of you saying that this is a pagan holiday and that it is not the true date of Christ's birth.  It doesn't matter to me.  It is still a magical time of the year for me.

But above all else, it is a time for "love and goodwill toward all men".  Now, I'm not saying that for the other 364 days of the year we should just ignore those who are in need.  But what I am saying is that this is the time of the year when we should make an extra effort to be more ... more patient with others, more giving to others, more supportive of others.  First and foremost though ... be less to yourself! ... less harsh, less critical, less demanding.  In order to love others we need to love ourselves more.  So be kind to yourself, be kind to others.

Whether this is your time of the year that you celebrate your Divine or not, please be kind to one another.  Give, because it is in the giving that we will receive.

And as this year draws to a close take time to reflect on what we have done this year ... for ourselves and for others.  Reflect on your achievements and to let go of the things that no longer serve you.  Take the lessons of this year into the new year in order to not repeat those mistakes and let go of the disappointments that will only cloud your vision  as you look forward.

I wish you and your loved ones a most magical festive season.  And am looking forward to sharing an awesome, amazing, abundant 2013 with you.

With warm holiday wishes from,

The  Slender Goddess

Happy holidays from my family to yours.

I beg your pardon?

I recently read my friend's blog about the things people say ... whether it be with or without intent ... and it really resonated with me (you can read the blog here: A Moment on the Lips …)

When I started this blog I was talking to (and about) my inner Slender Goddess and am actively encouraging her to come out.  The thing, I think, that spoke loudest to me was the meaning behind the message.  For those who haven't yet read the blog (and I encourage you to read all of them ... she's a fab writer!) the controversy is centered around a comment made, as follows, "mayo is for fat people who want to get fatter ".  What shouted out at me was the whole "fat people are fat because they stuff their faces with food all day" message ... and boy did that get my dander up!!!

Who the hell does he think he is???  Whether he is a good guy or not is beside the point ... that is an uncalled for slur.  And one made in ignorance.

As a young child I was petite, tiny even, and always small for my age.  But at the age of 7 my well-meaning parents took me to a Professor of Dermatology in an attempt to cure an inherited skin condition that is incurable.  I was given higher-than-adult doses of medication and by the age of 8 my endocrine system was damaged to the point that my weight ballooned so alarmingly quickly my grandmother had my mother take me to the doctor for a check up.  Thus began a lifetime battle with my weight, which yes sadly, is aggravated by what I eat.  That's not how I got here but it is, indeed, how I remain here.  No diet or lifestyle change makes any significant change for any extended periods of time.

So, where was I going with this little rant of mine?  Oh yes ... No matter who you are, or how nice a person you normally are, don't stand there and judge me by what you see.  You don't know me, you don't know my history and you certainly don't know about my daily struggle with my weight. Think before you open your mouth and show what an ignorant gnat you are by spewing  crap about what I look like.  There is NOTHING that you could possibly think or say that I have not said or thought myself.

The thing that bugs me the most though is, how the ignorance or just pure mean-and-nastiness of so many out there impacts on young, innocent children out there everyday.  By my age, if you've spent a lifetime battle with this problem, you've more than likely developed enough of a tough skin to deal with this ignorance or mean-spiritedness.  However, the younger generation won't have.  In my friend's, she also posted the link to a video clip of a new anchorwoman addressing this very issue and I encourage you to have a look at it (you can view it here:  CBC News Anchor-tv-overweight Oct 2012).

It has taken me MANY years and tears to call a truce on my battle thanks to the love of a
FABULOUS, supportive, AMAZING husband who KNOWS me, my history and my DAILY
struggle to stay in "a state of truce".  But please, ladies AND gentlemen (yes, I know and
acknowledge that men too battle with this issue but seldom get the support they need) I
beg of you, don't let other peoples' callousness break you down ... don't let other peoples'
thoughtlessness or ignorance get under your skin.  As my husband, always, so eloquently
puts it, "Listen you insignificant insect, I can lose weight but you'll always be an
insignificant insect!"  Well said my love.

No matter what, remember ... YOU ARE FABULOUS JUST THE WAY YOU ARE!!!  Support 
your children in fighting this form of bullying.  You are worth so much more than that.

As the festive season draws ever closer (YAYNESS!!! I LOVE Christmas!) be kind to yourself.
I know I'm worth it ... and so are you.

Loving festive blessings,
The Slender Goddess,
Cape Town

I am worth it ... and so are you!

What is the first thing you lose when you gain weight? (a bit of an oxymoron ... not so?) But seriously ... what is it you lose?

Your self-image and self-worth head right out the door when you get on that scale and the numbers are tear-inducing! Not so? Suddenly everything you believed about yourself is viewed with doubt. I’m not pretty/sexy/worthy/acceptable to society, as I look now. The world will look at me and see a shapeless blob. How can anyone ever take me seriously again.

Sound familiar?

That’s what happened to me. As I continued to gain weight over the course of the years I began to lose faith in myself. I truly believed that people would view me very differently ... as if, somehow, the extra weight would render me useless to society. After all, society tells us that to be the “in thing” you have to weight the same as a single almond. This will bring you fame, fortune and recognition. Well at least that’s what most fashion magazines want us to believe.

I say “to hell with that”!!! Ok, so it’s taken me pretty much my entire adult life to come to that conclusion. But hey, I’m here now, right?

I have learned that I am still me ... just a lot more of me. My brain has not turned to mush, I have not lost the ability to be effective in the work place, in my home and generally out in the big wide world! I am intelligent, hardworking, caring, and I can do pretty much anything I want if I put my mind to it.

As one of my favourite self-help gurus loves to say, “Your self-image and self-worth equal your self-wealth” ~ John Demartini. And you know what? He’s right! If we don’t believe in ourselves and love ourselves for who we are, as we are, who else will? The world treats us the way we treat ourselves ... it simply mirrors our own attitude back at us.

So, I stand proud and boldly declare, I AM WORTH IT!!! Love yourself and, above all, be kind to yourself ... after all, YOU ARE WORTH IT!!!

The Slender Goddess, :)

Cape Town

What have you lost along the way?

I've noticed that as I've gained more weight and lost more of my self-confidence, I tend to dress differently to the way I did when I was thinner.

As a child, my weight issue began because my endocrine system was damaged by well meaning doctors who had no idea what the medication they gave me would do to the body of a child.  Luckily though, my weight was considered "voluptuous" as a teenager and I dress in a way that made me feel good.  I loved to look pretty so I would make an effort to do my hair, put make up on, wear things that made me feel good about myself and finally, I would don my accessories and be on my merry way.

As a young adult, although heavier than my teen years, I would still make the effort.  But then life got in the way.

I got married, had a baby and, WAM, I got hit with a really bad dose of Postpartum Psychosis.  Everything went to hell in a hand basket.  I couldn't be bothered.  My son screamed for 12 hours at night so my husband and I walked around looking and feeling like zombies during the day ... my husband went off to work and I stayed home with my son.  He didn't sleep much during the day either, by the way.  So I pretty much looked like I'd been dragged through a bush repeatedly ... and honestly?  I really didn't care.

But, that phase passed and our boy got older and, eventually, started sleeping at night.  The damage was already done though.  I was putting on weight at an alarming rate, was still tired all the time and no longer felt pretty, or sexy, or desirable.  And it showed on the outside too.

I no longer made an effort with my hair, or my make up and for some bizarre reason designers don't seem to think fat people deserve pretty clothes ... it's almost as if they're punishing us for being fat.  And that's sad.  I've also noticed that my self image is strongly driven by my weight.  When I've lost weight, I feel better about myself and tend to make more of an effort.  When I gain weight I tend to feel like a fraud if I dress up.  So yet again, I stop trying.  As time has passed and I've gained more weight I've lost the image of a "pretty" me along the way.

What have you lost along the way?

The Slender Goddess, :)

Cape Town

New Year's Resolutions ... the Follow Up

Alright Possums, it's time to 'fess up ... who of you have managed to hang on to your resolutions? If they've already fallen by the wayside, don't get all bent out of shape about it (no pun intended!)  Just do this little exercise (yet again, no pun intended ... gosh, where are they coming from???) for me.

In today's crazy, rushed, hectic life, find a quiet space for a few moments and contemplate what this means for you.  Is there a deeper-seated issue that you're not addressing that's preventing you from moving forward, toward your goal?  Is there some form of benefit that you're getting from not achieving this goal?  I know ... I also threw my hands up in the air and asked, "what possible benefit could I gain from being overweight"?????  But that is why you need that quiet space so you can sit and contemplate this "homework assignment" deeply ... don't just pay lip service to the concept and then walk away saying, "this is never going to work for me".  It just takes a little (ok, maybe a lot) of introspection to find what it is that isn't resonating with you, causing you to fall short of your goal.  You know yourself better than anybody else does, but if you need to, ask someone for their input.  But whatever you do, don't give up on your goal/dream/objective.  You're worth the work.

I'm not saying I'm perfect; in fact I'm far from it; I'm just saying I'm worth it! ~ Unknown

The Slender Goddess, :)

Cape Town

Food for thought ... or consumption.

Life has been challenging the last while.  Lots of changes going on.  And all the while, I'm trying to hang on to my sanity.  Meditation and a positive attitude was called for.  So I decided to draw inspiration from my self-help guru, Dr John Demartini, and come up with as positive an affirmation as I could possibly make it.  This was I came up with.

"I am grateful now that I am financially independent, slender, healthy, toned,  gorgeous and wise."

It hasn't happened yet but I'm not giving up my dream!  Don't give up on yours either!  You deserved it because you're worth it.


The Slender Goddess, :)
Cape Town

Cherry Almond Chocolate Cluster by Ellie Krieger (http://www.healthylivingwithellie.com) Ingredients 1 cup(s) nuts, almonds, toasted in a dry skillet over a medium-high flame until fragrant, stirring frequently, 3 to 5 minutes and coarsely chopped 1/2 cup(s) cherries, dried tart, coarsely chopped 6 ounce(s) dark chocolate, 72% cacao, finely chopped Preparation In a medium bowl, toss together the almonds and cherries. Line a baking sheet with waxed paper. Melt half the chocolate in the top of a double boiler over 1 inch of barely simmering water, over the lowest possible heat, stirring frequently. Remove the pan from the heat and stir in the rest of the chocolate. Remove the top pan with the chocolate in it, gently wipe the bottom, and set it aside for a moment. Replace the simmering water in the bottom pan with warm tap water. Put the pan of melted chocolate on top of the warm water. This will keep the chocolate at the right temperature while you make the clusters. Stir the fruit/nut mixture into the chocolate. Spoon out heaping tablespoon-sized clusters of the chocolate mixture onto the baking sheet about 1 inch apart. Put them in the refrigerator to set for 15 minutes. Store and serve at room temperature. Serving size: 1 cluster. Nutrient Note: Good source of fiber. About This Recipe Prep Time: 10 mins Cook Time: 5 mins Total Time: 30 mins   Contains Nuts  Vegetarian  Good for Leftovers Nutrition Facts Number of servings: 12 Amount Per Serving Calories: 155 Total Fat: 10 g Sat Fat: 3 g Cholesterol: 0 mg Sodium: 5 mg Total Carbohydrate: 15 g Fiber: 2.5 g Protein: 3.5 g

The mind ... a very powerful tool!

Gosh it's been a long time since I've been able to post anything on my blog ... life just seems to have gotten in the way.  And, I must admit, I have battled a bit with inspiration for a blog too.  However, recently I was browsing the Internet and on one of the sites I visited, I gained access to an audio clip.  The speaker was discussing goals and why we find it so hard to set a goal and stick to it ... the point of which I found very interesting.

The upshot of the whole clip was that when we set goals, they aren't always in line with our core values.  We consciously set goals that don't match our subconscious desires.  What I found so fascinating was when he discussed a lady TV presenter.  She had come to interview him for her show and they had sat chatting after.  And during the chat she mentioned to him that she was battling to lose some weight.  She had tried it all (sound familiar?) and while it would be effective in the beginning, after a while the weight would all come back.  What was she doing wrong, and could he help her?  His response was, "Well, what benefit do you get from being overweight?"  I was completely taken aback by this question.  I mean, for heaven's sake, who of us benefit from being overweight!  Right?  Apparently wrong.  As they continued their talk it emerged that her sister was very domineering and was always trying to control her life ... her response ... "my sister can't control my diet"!  And as they went along it emerged that her entire family was overweight and so she felt "out" when spending time with her family after any significant weight loss.  Subconsciously, it made her unhappy to feel "out" and so she would revert to old eating habits and regain any weight she'd lost ... so, ultimately, her subconscious mind was ruling her actions.  So, in order to be successful we need to do a bit of soul searching to get to the root of the problem before we can make any improvements.  Why do we continue to do what we do everyday?  What benefits do we get from being overweight?  What is subconsciously holding back from achieving the weight loss we want so badly?

Our mind is the most powerful tool we have.  We can do anything, achieve anything as long as our mindset is right and our values, both conscious and subconscious, are honoured.  I have some soul searching to do ... how about you?

The Slender Goddess, :)

Cape Town

And so the quest for my inner Slender Goddess continues ...

Well, there are only 6 days left in this first month of this New Year ... hard to believe but true.  I have definitely come to the conclusion that time speeds up as you get older.  The days are just flying by, and it still feels like I don't have enough time in a day to do all that is needed.

However, one thing I am doing is sticking to my decision that this is the year to let go of all the negative ideas I have about dieting and embrace all the positive ideas about eating more sensibly.  I cannot tell you that it has been easy ... it hasn't.  I have 32 years worth of weight propaganda and negativity that I have to sort through, dust off, discard or re-organise in the dusty archives of my mind.  But I can, with pride, say that so far I'm hanging in there.  I have promised to be kinder to myself, just as you should be to yourself, and am practising that everyday ... or at least trying to do so every day.  As every woman since Eve has had, I had my "dreaded time" recently.  There is nothing and no one safe, during this time, in my search for chocolate ... it is seriously ugly should anyone or anything get between me and a chocolate bar.  So this month I went about it in the spirit of my new mind set.  I bought a smaller chocolate and savoured it for a good 45 minutes ... and all was well in my world again.  Usually I pick up as much as 2kg (± 4lbs) during this time ... this time?  Just 200g (± 1/2lbs) ... woooohoooo ... success!  So it would appear that (yet again) I owe my (very smart) husband a heartfelt "Thank You" for opening my eyes to this new way of being.

My journey is a long one but I WILL be successful in my quest for my inner Slender Goddess.  After all, this is my year to ACHIEVE.

How goes your journey?  If you need support, a shoulder to lean on or just an ear to listen ... feel free to contact me.  No one should have to travel this journey alone.

The Slender Goddess :)

Cape Town

Words ... are they important?

One of my most favourite people posted in her blog recently about words and, with it being a new year and all, what yours for the year would be (http://zenith-thinking.blogspot.com/2012/01/year-of-word.html).  That got me thinking about what my word for the year would be ... and I decided it would be "achieve".  There are so many things that I want to achieve in this lifetime!

So, while pondering my word for the year, I started thinking laterally about words, what words mean, what words mean personally, and so on.  And it refreshed my memory ... my (very smart) husband and I are great believers in the power of words.  Without realising it, or really thinking about it, words are very powerful.  You can do so many things with words.  And how we think and speak has an impact on what happens in our lives.  Henry Ford is quoted as saying "If you think you can, you're right.  And, if you think you can't, you're right."

With that sentiment, and my word for the year, in mind, I implore you to guard your words in thought and speech.  Not just in terms of other people but ourselves as well.

When you have had a bad week, trying your best to cope with life in general and, losing weight in particular ... guard your words and thoughts.  As Dr John de Martini says, "What you think and speak about, you bring about" so stay positive ... tomorrow WILL be a better day.

Be kind to yourselves, and remember, "You are worthy, and deserve to be loved"!

The Slender Goddess :)
Cape Town

To eat or not to eat ...

Poor Shakespeare ... I wonder if he realised how many different ways his famous quote would be misused?  In this particular instance it works for me.

I know that my eating habits aren't always the best and so I've begun to work on them in the last week and a half.  Whenever you think of "dieting" you always think of bland, unexciting food that nobody wants to eat.  But not so anymore.  I have discovered a new TV chef ... Ellie Krieger.  I was scrolling through the viewing schedule recently and came across her listing ... Healthy Appetite ... so I decided to give it a try.  What did I have to lose, right?  And I'm so glad I did.  What lovely recipes she has.  So, whoever said eating right meant eating bland ... how wrong you were!!!

If you're looking for some inspiration to keep your momentum going check Ellie out on http://www.foodnetworktv.com/search/healthy-keyword/ellie-krieger-chef ... I promise it'll be worth your while.

Here's to a terrific, and healthy, weekend.

The Slender Goddess :)

Cape Town

Great expectations

It's hard to believe that the first week of the new year is over.  So, how have you fared with your new year's resolution to lose weight?  I have managed, so far, to stick to my guns ... so to speak.  I have made small changes and am working hard on changing my mindset from a "cheat" mentality to a "reward" mentality.  So far, so good.  And it is paying dividends.

Today was weigh-day.  So, armed with my newly improved outlook, I got on the scale.  Happily, my scale tells me I am 4kg (9 pounds) down since the beginning of last week ... yaaaay!!!

With my much improved outlook, I am going into the new week positively ... good, bad or indifferent, what will be will be ... and all will be well.

So what is your plan of action for the new week?


The Slender Goddess :)
Cape Town

Embracing a new mind set

In my last post I mentioned my (very smart) husband's philosophy on "falling off the wagon" ... Don't look at it as cheating, look at it as a reward.  While embarrassed that I have rewarded myself so soon, I must confess, I am super chuffed with myself.  My son passed matric yesterday and we took him out to lunch to celebrate.  And, even though, I ate things I should not have eaten I didn't just throw the towel in and say "Well bugger it.  I've messed up so now I'll have to quit".  That is precisely what I would have done in the past.  This time, however, I stuck to my guns and I am feeling very good about myself today as a result and am now looking forward to Monday as I will be weighing myself to see the results of my week's hard work.

So, it would appear that you can teach an old dog new tricks and I can change my mindset.

Hope all is going well with you in your endeavours.

The Slender Goddess :)

Cape Town

My journey to find my inner Slender Goddess

Day 3 has dawned bright and beautiful.  So far things are going well. This year I've decided to try doing things a little differently to all the other gazillions of times.  As my husband says, "It's all about your mindset.  Instead of thinking of it as a diet, think of it as a different way of eating.  And on days when the craving gets to much, have a little and don't feel guilty about it.  Think of it as a reward for all your hard work rather than as cheating."  My husband is a smart man!  The problem is, that's exactly it.  I always feel guilty about food.  Whether I'm eating healthily or eating junk food I feel guilty about eating it the minute I start to feel full.  I guess that's years of conditioning because when you're fat people automatically assume you eat too much.

However, as I embark on my journey to find my inner Slender Goddess I have embraced the fact that my husband is right and am now working on changing my mindset.  I am truly lucky to have such a wonderful man by my side who supports me in all that I do.

Best of luck to all of you on your own journey to find your inner Slender Goddess.

The Slender Goddess :)

Cape Town

New Year's Resolutions

So, 2012 is finally here and many New Year's resolutions have been made and already broken.  I am no diffierent to the next person, I too make them and, sadly, break them.  This year I've decided no New Year's resolutions ... they're too easily broken without a second thought.  I've decided to make a promise to myself rather and I'm hoping that I will be better at keeping my promise than my resolutions.

I have battled with my weight since the age of eight.  And have been a serial dieter ... sound familiar?  Every year I fall into the make and break pattern of New Year's resolutions ... you know the one : "Lose weight this year, exercise more, etc, etc."  And by the second week of January all has fallen by the wayside and you're completely disgusted with yourself.  So, this year I have promised myself that I will attempt to commence this uphill climb and am putting myself out there (or rather here) in the hopes of naming and shaming myself.

Who is willing to join me?

The Slender Goddess :)
Cape Town, South Africa