I am worth it ... and so are you!

What is the first thing you lose when you gain weight? (a bit of an oxymoron ... not so?) But seriously ... what is it you lose?

Your self-image and self-worth head right out the door when you get on that scale and the numbers are tear-inducing! Not so? Suddenly everything you believed about yourself is viewed with doubt. I’m not pretty/sexy/worthy/acceptable to society, as I look now. The world will look at me and see a shapeless blob. How can anyone ever take me seriously again.

Sound familiar?

That’s what happened to me. As I continued to gain weight over the course of the years I began to lose faith in myself. I truly believed that people would view me very differently ... as if, somehow, the extra weight would render me useless to society. After all, society tells us that to be the “in thing” you have to weight the same as a single almond. This will bring you fame, fortune and recognition. Well at least that’s what most fashion magazines want us to believe.

I say “to hell with that”!!! Ok, so it’s taken me pretty much my entire adult life to come to that conclusion. But hey, I’m here now, right?

I have learned that I am still me ... just a lot more of me. My brain has not turned to mush, I have not lost the ability to be effective in the work place, in my home and generally out in the big wide world! I am intelligent, hardworking, caring, and I can do pretty much anything I want if I put my mind to it.

As one of my favourite self-help gurus loves to say, “Your self-image and self-worth equal your self-wealth” ~ John Demartini. And you know what? He’s right! If we don’t believe in ourselves and love ourselves for who we are, as we are, who else will? The world treats us the way we treat ourselves ... it simply mirrors our own attitude back at us.

So, I stand proud and boldly declare, I AM WORTH IT!!! Love yourself and, above all, be kind to yourself ... after all, YOU ARE WORTH IT!!!

The Slender Goddess, :)

Cape Town

What have you lost along the way?

I've noticed that as I've gained more weight and lost more of my self-confidence, I tend to dress differently to the way I did when I was thinner.

As a child, my weight issue began because my endocrine system was damaged by well meaning doctors who had no idea what the medication they gave me would do to the body of a child.  Luckily though, my weight was considered "voluptuous" as a teenager and I dress in a way that made me feel good.  I loved to look pretty so I would make an effort to do my hair, put make up on, wear things that made me feel good about myself and finally, I would don my accessories and be on my merry way.

As a young adult, although heavier than my teen years, I would still make the effort.  But then life got in the way.

I got married, had a baby and, WAM, I got hit with a really bad dose of Postpartum Psychosis.  Everything went to hell in a hand basket.  I couldn't be bothered.  My son screamed for 12 hours at night so my husband and I walked around looking and feeling like zombies during the day ... my husband went off to work and I stayed home with my son.  He didn't sleep much during the day either, by the way.  So I pretty much looked like I'd been dragged through a bush repeatedly ... and honestly?  I really didn't care.

But, that phase passed and our boy got older and, eventually, started sleeping at night.  The damage was already done though.  I was putting on weight at an alarming rate, was still tired all the time and no longer felt pretty, or sexy, or desirable.  And it showed on the outside too.

I no longer made an effort with my hair, or my make up and for some bizarre reason designers don't seem to think fat people deserve pretty clothes ... it's almost as if they're punishing us for being fat.  And that's sad.  I've also noticed that my self image is strongly driven by my weight.  When I've lost weight, I feel better about myself and tend to make more of an effort.  When I gain weight I tend to feel like a fraud if I dress up.  So yet again, I stop trying.  As time has passed and I've gained more weight I've lost the image of a "pretty" me along the way.

What have you lost along the way?

The Slender Goddess, :)

Cape Town