Let it go, let it go, let it go ...

Ok, so maybe that is a bit of a weak twist on one of my favourite Christmas songs ... Let it snow ... :), but hey this is what artistic license is all about right?  Seriously though, it is what I want to ask you to do. 

2012 Has been a HUGE learning year for me.  I started this blog, finished my personal coaching course and qualified with honours, I started a company, I learnt how to set up a website from scratch and so the list continues.  Looking back now, I was destined to achieve ... it was, after all, my word for 2012.   Part of my learning, as I continue my personal journey to find my inner (Slender) Goddess, was having a tarot reading for the first time ever.  I had always been curious about Tarot and my "sister-of-the-heart" treated me to one earlier this year.  I took away a number of valuable lessons and thoughts.

The one, however, that stood out the most for me was ... "Surrender and Release".  After telling me how I have a tendency to bottle everything up inside and causing myself unnecessary extra stress, I needed to find a way to surrender my worries, fears, anxieties and troubled thoughts and release them to the Divine.  "Wow!", I thought, "I've never thought of that.  Maybe I could give it a try and see how it goes."  At this point, I should tell you that I suffer from insomnia when I bottle things up ... doesn't take a genius to figure out why.  So I went home, and that night as I was ending my prayers, I tacked on to the end "Please take these worries, fears, anxieties and troubled thoughts from me as I surrender and release them into your safekeeping."  It was said with meaning and intent, and let me tell you it worked!

Today, I have been introspective.  I've looked back on this past year to reflect on all that has been, come and gone.  What I have learned.  And how I can use these lessons in 2013.  That's when it hit me!  What if I took time to work through the issues I have that keep me trapped in this overweight body and "surrender and release" them to my Divine?  Surely it would begin to heal the wounds and scars that remain after 38 years of battling with my weight issues?  I know I didn't create them, but I have moments where I aid them.  What if i just "let it go, let it go, let it go" ... ?  I realise that there are probably many people out there who have already come to this conclusion but it has taken me this long to get here.  So I encourage you, now, to do the same.  Whatever religion you are devoted to.  Whomever you deem to be your Divine.  Surrender and release what no longer serves you but takes up unnecessary space in your head to them.  Ask for their help and guidance.  I intent to because I know I am worth it.  But you know what else I know?  I know that you, too, are worth it.

So, as we exit 2012 with our sight firmly focused on the awesomeness of 2013 (for it will, indeed, be an awesome year) give yourself permission to let go of what no longer serves you but continues to weigh you down, both literally and figuratively .  After all, change starts with you.

May you be blessed with an abundance in this new year ahead ... of love, health, happiness, wealth, wisdom and slenderness.

Until next year,
Warmest regards,
The Slender Goddess

So this is Christmas, and what have we done? ...

I am unashamedly a Christmas junkie.  I love everything to do with Christmas.  As a Christian, it is my favourite time of the year.  But, not for the gifts.  Of course it's always nice to receive a lovely gift, all beautifully wrapped, but that is not what Christmas is all about for me.

I love the togetherness of Christmas ... time spent as a family putting decorations up, and on the tree.  The time spent together with family and loved ones around the dining table ... the laughter and the happiness that you hear expressed as we all sit around and chat, joke, tease and just enjoy each other's  company.  That is the meaning of Christmas to me ... the being together at this precious time of the year.  And yes, I can just hear some of you saying that this is a pagan holiday and that it is not the true date of Christ's birth.  It doesn't matter to me.  It is still a magical time of the year for me.

But above all else, it is a time for "love and goodwill toward all men".  Now, I'm not saying that for the other 364 days of the year we should just ignore those who are in need.  But what I am saying is that this is the time of the year when we should make an extra effort to be more ... more patient with others, more giving to others, more supportive of others.  First and foremost though ... be less to yourself! ... less harsh, less critical, less demanding.  In order to love others we need to love ourselves more.  So be kind to yourself, be kind to others.

Whether this is your time of the year that you celebrate your Divine or not, please be kind to one another.  Give, because it is in the giving that we will receive.

And as this year draws to a close take time to reflect on what we have done this year ... for ourselves and for others.  Reflect on your achievements and to let go of the things that no longer serve you.  Take the lessons of this year into the new year in order to not repeat those mistakes and let go of the disappointments that will only cloud your vision  as you look forward.

I wish you and your loved ones a most magical festive season.  And am looking forward to sharing an awesome, amazing, abundant 2013 with you.

With warm holiday wishes from,

The  Slender Goddess

Happy holidays from my family to yours.

I beg your pardon?

I recently read my friend's blog about the things people say ... whether it be with or without intent ... and it really resonated with me (you can read the blog here: A Moment on the Lips …)

When I started this blog I was talking to (and about) my inner Slender Goddess and am actively encouraging her to come out.  The thing, I think, that spoke loudest to me was the meaning behind the message.  For those who haven't yet read the blog (and I encourage you to read all of them ... she's a fab writer!) the controversy is centered around a comment made, as follows, "mayo is for fat people who want to get fatter ".  What shouted out at me was the whole "fat people are fat because they stuff their faces with food all day" message ... and boy did that get my dander up!!!

Who the hell does he think he is???  Whether he is a good guy or not is beside the point ... that is an uncalled for slur.  And one made in ignorance.

As a young child I was petite, tiny even, and always small for my age.  But at the age of 7 my well-meaning parents took me to a Professor of Dermatology in an attempt to cure an inherited skin condition that is incurable.  I was given higher-than-adult doses of medication and by the age of 8 my endocrine system was damaged to the point that my weight ballooned so alarmingly quickly my grandmother had my mother take me to the doctor for a check up.  Thus began a lifetime battle with my weight, which yes sadly, is aggravated by what I eat.  That's not how I got here but it is, indeed, how I remain here.  No diet or lifestyle change makes any significant change for any extended periods of time.

So, where was I going with this little rant of mine?  Oh yes ... No matter who you are, or how nice a person you normally are, don't stand there and judge me by what you see.  You don't know me, you don't know my history and you certainly don't know about my daily struggle with my weight. Think before you open your mouth and show what an ignorant gnat you are by spewing  crap about what I look like.  There is NOTHING that you could possibly think or say that I have not said or thought myself.

The thing that bugs me the most though is, how the ignorance or just pure mean-and-nastiness of so many out there impacts on young, innocent children out there everyday.  By my age, if you've spent a lifetime battle with this problem, you've more than likely developed enough of a tough skin to deal with this ignorance or mean-spiritedness.  However, the younger generation won't have.  In my friend's, she also posted the link to a video clip of a new anchorwoman addressing this very issue and I encourage you to have a look at it (you can view it here:  CBC News Anchor-tv-overweight Oct 2012).

It has taken me MANY years and tears to call a truce on my battle thanks to the love of a
FABULOUS, supportive, AMAZING husband who KNOWS me, my history and my DAILY
struggle to stay in "a state of truce".  But please, ladies AND gentlemen (yes, I know and
acknowledge that men too battle with this issue but seldom get the support they need) I
beg of you, don't let other peoples' callousness break you down ... don't let other peoples'
thoughtlessness or ignorance get under your skin.  As my husband, always, so eloquently
puts it, "Listen you insignificant insect, I can lose weight but you'll always be an
insignificant insect!"  Well said my love.

No matter what, remember ... YOU ARE FABULOUS JUST THE WAY YOU ARE!!!  Support 
your children in fighting this form of bullying.  You are worth so much more than that.

As the festive season draws ever closer (YAYNESS!!! I LOVE Christmas!) be kind to yourself.
I know I'm worth it ... and so are you.

Loving festive blessings,
The Slender Goddess,
Cape Town

I am worth it ... and so are you!

What is the first thing you lose when you gain weight? (a bit of an oxymoron ... not so?) But seriously ... what is it you lose?

Your self-image and self-worth head right out the door when you get on that scale and the numbers are tear-inducing! Not so? Suddenly everything you believed about yourself is viewed with doubt. I’m not pretty/sexy/worthy/acceptable to society, as I look now. The world will look at me and see a shapeless blob. How can anyone ever take me seriously again.

Sound familiar?

That’s what happened to me. As I continued to gain weight over the course of the years I began to lose faith in myself. I truly believed that people would view me very differently ... as if, somehow, the extra weight would render me useless to society. After all, society tells us that to be the “in thing” you have to weight the same as a single almond. This will bring you fame, fortune and recognition. Well at least that’s what most fashion magazines want us to believe.

I say “to hell with that”!!! Ok, so it’s taken me pretty much my entire adult life to come to that conclusion. But hey, I’m here now, right?

I have learned that I am still me ... just a lot more of me. My brain has not turned to mush, I have not lost the ability to be effective in the work place, in my home and generally out in the big wide world! I am intelligent, hardworking, caring, and I can do pretty much anything I want if I put my mind to it.

As one of my favourite self-help gurus loves to say, “Your self-image and self-worth equal your self-wealth” ~ John Demartini. And you know what? He’s right! If we don’t believe in ourselves and love ourselves for who we are, as we are, who else will? The world treats us the way we treat ourselves ... it simply mirrors our own attitude back at us.

So, I stand proud and boldly declare, I AM WORTH IT!!! Love yourself and, above all, be kind to yourself ... after all, YOU ARE WORTH IT!!!

The Slender Goddess, :)

Cape Town

What have you lost along the way?

I've noticed that as I've gained more weight and lost more of my self-confidence, I tend to dress differently to the way I did when I was thinner.

As a child, my weight issue began because my endocrine system was damaged by well meaning doctors who had no idea what the medication they gave me would do to the body of a child.  Luckily though, my weight was considered "voluptuous" as a teenager and I dress in a way that made me feel good.  I loved to look pretty so I would make an effort to do my hair, put make up on, wear things that made me feel good about myself and finally, I would don my accessories and be on my merry way.

As a young adult, although heavier than my teen years, I would still make the effort.  But then life got in the way.

I got married, had a baby and, WAM, I got hit with a really bad dose of Postpartum Psychosis.  Everything went to hell in a hand basket.  I couldn't be bothered.  My son screamed for 12 hours at night so my husband and I walked around looking and feeling like zombies during the day ... my husband went off to work and I stayed home with my son.  He didn't sleep much during the day either, by the way.  So I pretty much looked like I'd been dragged through a bush repeatedly ... and honestly?  I really didn't care.

But, that phase passed and our boy got older and, eventually, started sleeping at night.  The damage was already done though.  I was putting on weight at an alarming rate, was still tired all the time and no longer felt pretty, or sexy, or desirable.  And it showed on the outside too.

I no longer made an effort with my hair, or my make up and for some bizarre reason designers don't seem to think fat people deserve pretty clothes ... it's almost as if they're punishing us for being fat.  And that's sad.  I've also noticed that my self image is strongly driven by my weight.  When I've lost weight, I feel better about myself and tend to make more of an effort.  When I gain weight I tend to feel like a fraud if I dress up.  So yet again, I stop trying.  As time has passed and I've gained more weight I've lost the image of a "pretty" me along the way.

What have you lost along the way?

The Slender Goddess, :)

Cape Town

New Year's Resolutions ... the Follow Up

Alright Possums, it's time to 'fess up ... who of you have managed to hang on to your resolutions? If they've already fallen by the wayside, don't get all bent out of shape about it (no pun intended!)  Just do this little exercise (yet again, no pun intended ... gosh, where are they coming from???) for me.

In today's crazy, rushed, hectic life, find a quiet space for a few moments and contemplate what this means for you.  Is there a deeper-seated issue that you're not addressing that's preventing you from moving forward, toward your goal?  Is there some form of benefit that you're getting from not achieving this goal?  I know ... I also threw my hands up in the air and asked, "what possible benefit could I gain from being overweight"?????  But that is why you need that quiet space so you can sit and contemplate this "homework assignment" deeply ... don't just pay lip service to the concept and then walk away saying, "this is never going to work for me".  It just takes a little (ok, maybe a lot) of introspection to find what it is that isn't resonating with you, causing you to fall short of your goal.  You know yourself better than anybody else does, but if you need to, ask someone for their input.  But whatever you do, don't give up on your goal/dream/objective.  You're worth the work.

I'm not saying I'm perfect; in fact I'm far from it; I'm just saying I'm worth it! ~ Unknown

The Slender Goddess, :)

Cape Town

Food for thought ... or consumption.

Life has been challenging the last while.  Lots of changes going on.  And all the while, I'm trying to hang on to my sanity.  Meditation and a positive attitude was called for.  So I decided to draw inspiration from my self-help guru, Dr John Demartini, and come up with as positive an affirmation as I could possibly make it.  This was I came up with.

"I am grateful now that I am financially independent, slender, healthy, toned,  gorgeous and wise."

It hasn't happened yet but I'm not giving up my dream!  Don't give up on yours either!  You deserved it because you're worth it.


The Slender Goddess, :)
Cape Town

Cherry Almond Chocolate Cluster by Ellie Krieger (http://www.healthylivingwithellie.com) Ingredients 1 cup(s) nuts, almonds, toasted in a dry skillet over a medium-high flame until fragrant, stirring frequently, 3 to 5 minutes and coarsely chopped 1/2 cup(s) cherries, dried tart, coarsely chopped 6 ounce(s) dark chocolate, 72% cacao, finely chopped Preparation In a medium bowl, toss together the almonds and cherries. Line a baking sheet with waxed paper. Melt half the chocolate in the top of a double boiler over 1 inch of barely simmering water, over the lowest possible heat, stirring frequently. Remove the pan from the heat and stir in the rest of the chocolate. Remove the top pan with the chocolate in it, gently wipe the bottom, and set it aside for a moment. Replace the simmering water in the bottom pan with warm tap water. Put the pan of melted chocolate on top of the warm water. This will keep the chocolate at the right temperature while you make the clusters. Stir the fruit/nut mixture into the chocolate. Spoon out heaping tablespoon-sized clusters of the chocolate mixture onto the baking sheet about 1 inch apart. Put them in the refrigerator to set for 15 minutes. Store and serve at room temperature. Serving size: 1 cluster. Nutrient Note: Good source of fiber. About This Recipe Prep Time: 10 mins Cook Time: 5 mins Total Time: 30 mins   Contains Nuts  Vegetarian  Good for Leftovers Nutrition Facts Number of servings: 12 Amount Per Serving Calories: 155 Total Fat: 10 g Sat Fat: 3 g Cholesterol: 0 mg Sodium: 5 mg Total Carbohydrate: 15 g Fiber: 2.5 g Protein: 3.5 g