A New Year ... what will you do with it?

Happy New Year!  May 2014 we all that you wish it to be.

As I was mulling over what my first post of 2014 would be I realised that Slender Goddess is 2 years old ... happy dance ... big grin ... Happy birthday Slender Goddess, and thank you for all that you are to me, all that you have taught me, and all that you have (hopefully) brought to others.  And thank you to those of you who have taken the time to read my blog ... you are all most appreciated.

And in mulling over what this, my first blog of the new year, would be I thought about exactly that ... a new year ... a new opportunity to do things differently ... new opportunities.  So ... do you set New Year's Resolutions?

I used to, but by the end of January most (if not all) would have fallen by the wayside and I would just be disgruntled and disgusted with myself for not achieving my resolutions.  According to the University of Scranton, Pennsylvania, their research indicates that only 8% of those who set New Year's resolutions achieve them.  Eight percent seems to be a recurring theme in setting resolutions, goals, intentions.  Research has shown that only 8% of the world's population ever set goals, and that only 3% of that 8% actually achieve those goals.  I think, too often, we set huge goals for ourselves and then, when we realise the enormity of what is required to achieve them, we are overwhelmed and lose interest.

A few years ago a good friend of mine came up with the idea of picking just one word for yourself ... a word that would have meaning for you ... a word to focus you for the new year.  Her idea was adapted from the original concept written about in Elizabeth Gilbert's Eat, Pray, Love where she talks about a single word describing a city.  You can read her original blog here to get a better idea of how it works.  And since then, she has challenged us annually to pick a word for the new year ahead.  And I have to say, it has worked a treat!  By narrowing it down to just one word, it allows you to narrow your focus so that you are not overwhelmed from the get-go.

In 2012 I chose "Achieve" as my word ... and boy did I ever (you can read about it here).  However, in 2013 my word, "Success", didn't quite come about as I had intended it to.  Yes, I did succeed in certain areas of my life but the success as I had defined it never came to pass.  Although success didn't come to be as I had envisioned it, it came to me in far different ways than I imagined ... blessings for which I am truly grateful.  Now, in 2014, we have been promoted to three words for the year (you can read about it here).  So, I have chosen my words (Surrender ♥ Abundance ♥ Service), set my intentions, and look forward to this new year and what it will bring.

I now challenge you to do the same.  Pick 3 words that are meaningful to you, set you intention, and then go out and do it!  What will your 3 words be?  What will you do with this brand new year brimming with wonderful new opportunities?  Let me know ... I'd love to hear about it.

May you be richly blessed in the year ahead.  Much love and good wishes.

Warmest regards,

A revamp for the New Year

Oh my word, this has been a roller-coaster of a year!!!  Many highs, many lows too.  However!  No matter how bad things have become, I have MANY things to be thankful for.  It has also been a HUGE contributor to the spiritual journey I began around the time that "Slender Goddess" blog was born.  

Originally when I started Slender Goddess it was not my intention to focus only on weight issues.  I know that many struggle, day-to-day, to make sense of the crazy world we live and I thought my blog would be a good platform to share  "General thoughts and ideas on life, the journey to releasing weight; and staying sane."  So, in honour of the new year that is just around the corner, I think a bit of a revamp is in order.  I will continue to share weight related blogs (since they do insist on being written *grin*) but will also start including other topics as I had originally intended.

I'm looking forward to sharing the new look with you.  So, ladies and gents ... watch this space for the improved version. 

In the meantime, have a blessed day.

Something that FINALLY makes sense!

 

After years of blood, sweat, tears and, eventually, a kind of truce, I've finally discovered what I've been doing wrong all these years!!!

As a qualified Life Coach, weight loss is not a topic I've been comfortable contemplating coaching another person about, as it has been such a major (negative) part of my life since the age of eight.  But as I've continue down this life path I've chosen for myself, my need to grow spiritually and mentally has led me to research many different topics.  So imagine my delight when I came upon a new concept!

Since I have long ago come to the realisation that nothing happens “by chance” in life, I accept that I was meant to find this particular website which promotes the concept of loving yourself thin.  “Yeah right”, I hear you snort in derision; but hear me out.

The entire concept is based on the premise of positive self love … after all, if we can’t love ourselves, how can we expect other people to love us?  It also embraces the practice of mind power and the power of your thoughts.  They speak of releasing weight as opposed to losing weight … why didn't I think of this?!?!?  When you put it out into the Universe you wish to lose weight, the subconscious thinks, “Wait, if you lose something, it has to be found.  I’ll help you find that weight and put it right back where it was!”  So, instead when you decide to release weight, the subconscious thinks, “I’ll give you a hand with that … I’ll help you undo the ties that bind and we’ll release that pesky, unwanted weight right out into the universe.  I’m sure there’s a soul out there who could use this extra weight.”

What a concept!

But, if you stop and really think about it for a moment, it makes good sense.  Any change you wish to bring about in your life all begins with a single thought!  There is nothing we do, consciously or unconsciously that doesn’t start out as a thought.  The trick is to be mindful of your thoughts.  Have you ever noticed that when you’ve consciously decided that today is going to be a good day no matter what, it is?  Why?  Because you have consciously decided it will be so.  So why can’t that include how you view shedding weight?  The more positive your thoughts are the more positive the results are.

I have put this theory in to practice and over the past 2 months have “released” 4 pounds (2kg) without making any significant changes to what I eat.  All I’ve changed is the way I look at the situation.  Yes, it does mean that I have made a conscious effort to be aware of what thoughts I have and how they are worded.  But, yes, it has had results.

If you are interested in finding out more about this concept, email me at dorothy@inspirante.co.za, and I’ll help you to release your inner slenderness.

Wishing you great success with releasing you weight.

The Slender Goddess, :)

Cape Town 

Guest Blog proudly presents : Me First! Really??

Me First!  Really??

With much love and appreciation to the Slender Goddess for allowing me to Guest Post …

So it’s a big year for me this year, and my goal (for years) has been to be healthy (code for thin) for my 40^th Birthday!  Well I won’t reach my end-goal by then but I am working on it!

So let me back track a little …

Hi … I am Overweight and I’m an addict, a foodie, an emotional eater, a stress eater, a chocoholic, a pastry-a-holic and my sugar and carb addiction knows no bounds!  At some point in my formative years I learned a scarcity mentality and I have traded on my genetic ties of being the product of two World War 2 babies … BUT at some point I have to stop labelling, blaming and claiming it and start doing something about it!

My mother says I am harsh on people who have been dealt and perpetuate “victim mentality” around life dealing bad hands.  We all have shitty cards dealt us but I firmly believe that at some point we must draw a line under the hurts and shizz from the past and say “that was the past and it does not need to be my future!  That it is NOT going to be my future” and then actively work towards making a new and improved future your new reality.  I believe it is the ONLY WAY!  So with all of that flawed principled’ness … what am I doing about my unhealthy weight, to embrace and devour my current (and future) dreams and goals?

Like the start of every new year, we do the obligatory resolutions and 6 guesses what mine was this year (um like I think the last 17 years or so – but who is counting)!  SO I put my brain in gear and gave myself a firm pep talk, girded my flab and embarked on a managed high protein, low carb, calorie restricted weight release program (the eating plan of the moment).  Drastic times call for drastic action!

So I am 6 weeks in and I have learned some major life lessons:

1.       We All Know:  This is not rocket science (which of course we all know) it’s a case of doing the maths and working on the ratio of input vs output.  Now although I do agree with the logic of that statement (after all I am part Vulcan, pointy ears and all) … I do believe there is more to it than just that, which I am investigating … more to follow …     

2.       Management:  We all know what we need to do, it is about putting things into concrete action and getting on with it!  But sometimes we don’t know some of the rules (they seem to constantly change), so it is important to get direction and guidance.  This journey is rarely a success when undertaken alone.        

3.       Habit:  I’ve learned how much of what and when we eat is a habit.  Are we really hungry or do we eat to fill the emotion, the silence, the space?     

4.       P&P:  It’s all about planning and preparation!  This speaks to my inner OCD and my Compulsive Planning Disorder!

5.       ME FIRST?!?!:  And finally, and possibly the most important of all … I have to put me first and this one I know many of us struggle with!  Particularly us full-time working mum’s!  How often do we put everyone (and everything) else before us … the kids, hubby, work, washing, dishes, dinner, school projects, homework, packing school bags, prepping for the next school and working day, extended family & friends … and then and only then when everything else is ticked off on the list … we get round to us!  By then it is 10.30pm and we are knackered – ah screw it!      

I’ve realized for this program and ME to be a success, I HAVE to carve that time out of my already overflowing day to MAKE time for ME!  To do some exercise (at the moment I have befriended the much feared stairs in my office building for that relegated task).  I need to plan ahead, exactly what I am going to eat for the day (and the week to ensure balance and groceries), I must make the time to MAKE the food I am going to take for the day ahead to stay on the mapped program.  Early every morning I have to make sure I go get my required 2l  of water and then make sure I have consumed it all before 3pm everyday (so that I don’t have a bathroom crisis in the ever worsening traffic home).  I must make the time to eat my lunch and do the same with the 2 required snacks to keep blood sugar levels flat.           

I have to make me a priority!

It’s never an easy process, but on most days it is easier than the fear of the reality.  Like a recovering alcoholic … TODAY, I am strong!  There are more good days than bad and when I enjoy a treat (or 5) I am making sure that I return to the program.  For me, Monday to Friday’s are fabulous and I can “control” 98% of that.  Weekends are harder … but I am getting there …

My reality is that for me, there is a long road ahead, but I am learning so much about myself and surely that is one of our purposes … to learn and evolve?

And daily I hold onto the quote that “Nothing tastes as good, as thin feels!”

Watch this space … I’ll return to share more of the unfolding story …

The power is in our hands!

Warm regards

Hi … I am Overweight and I’m an addict …

Song of the Post … Finally!  From the epic movie Priscilla Queen of the Dessert!

Let it go, let it go, let it go ...

Ok, so maybe that is a bit of a weak twist on one of my favourite Christmas songs ... Let it snow ... :), but hey this is what artistic license is all about right?  Seriously though, it is what I want to ask you to do. 

2012 Has been a HUGE learning year for me.  I started this blog, finished my personal coaching course and qualified with honours, I started a company, I learnt how to set up a website from scratch and so the list continues.  Looking back now, I was destined to achieve ... it was, after all, my word for 2012.   Part of my learning, as I continue my personal journey to find my inner (Slender) Goddess, was having a tarot reading for the first time ever.  I had always been curious about Tarot and my "sister-of-the-heart" treated me to one earlier this year.  I took away a number of valuable lessons and thoughts.

The one, however, that stood out the most for me was ... "Surrender and Release".  After telling me how I have a tendency to bottle everything up inside and causing myself unnecessary extra stress, I needed to find a way to surrender my worries, fears, anxieties and troubled thoughts and release them to the Divine.  "Wow!", I thought, "I've never thought of that.  Maybe I could give it a try and see how it goes."  At this point, I should tell you that I suffer from insomnia when I bottle things up ... doesn't take a genius to figure out why.  So I went home, and that night as I was ending my prayers, I tacked on to the end "Please take these worries, fears, anxieties and troubled thoughts from me as I surrender and release them into your safekeeping."  It was said with meaning and intent, and let me tell you it worked!

Today, I have been introspective.  I've looked back on this past year to reflect on all that has been, come and gone.  What I have learned.  And how I can use these lessons in 2013.  That's when it hit me!  What if I took time to work through the issues I have that keep me trapped in this overweight body and "surrender and release" them to my Divine?  Surely it would begin to heal the wounds and scars that remain after 38 years of battling with my weight issues?  I know I didn't create them, but I have moments where I aid them.  What if i just "let it go, let it go, let it go" ... ?  I realise that there are probably many people out there who have already come to this conclusion but it has taken me this long to get here.  So I encourage you, now, to do the same.  Whatever religion you are devoted to.  Whomever you deem to be your Divine.  Surrender and release what no longer serves you but takes up unnecessary space in your head to them.  Ask for their help and guidance.  I intent to because I know I am worth it.  But you know what else I know?  I know that you, too, are worth it.

So, as we exit 2012 with our sight firmly focused on the awesomeness of 2013 (for it will, indeed, be an awesome year) give yourself permission to let go of what no longer serves you but continues to weigh you down, both literally and figuratively .  After all, change starts with you.

May you be blessed with an abundance in this new year ahead ... of love, health, happiness, wealth, wisdom and slenderness.

Until next year,
Warmest regards,
The Slender Goddess

So this is Christmas, and what have we done? ...

I am unashamedly a Christmas junkie.  I love everything to do with Christmas.  As a Christian, it is my favourite time of the year.  But, not for the gifts.  Of course it's always nice to receive a lovely gift, all beautifully wrapped, but that is not what Christmas is all about for me.

I love the togetherness of Christmas ... time spent as a family putting decorations up, and on the tree.  The time spent together with family and loved ones around the dining table ... the laughter and the happiness that you hear expressed as we all sit around and chat, joke, tease and just enjoy each other's  company.  That is the meaning of Christmas to me ... the being together at this precious time of the year.  And yes, I can just hear some of you saying that this is a pagan holiday and that it is not the true date of Christ's birth.  It doesn't matter to me.  It is still a magical time of the year for me.

But above all else, it is a time for "love and goodwill toward all men".  Now, I'm not saying that for the other 364 days of the year we should just ignore those who are in need.  But what I am saying is that this is the time of the year when we should make an extra effort to be more ... more patient with others, more giving to others, more supportive of others.  First and foremost though ... be less to yourself! ... less harsh, less critical, less demanding.  In order to love others we need to love ourselves more.  So be kind to yourself, be kind to others.

Whether this is your time of the year that you celebrate your Divine or not, please be kind to one another.  Give, because it is in the giving that we will receive.

And as this year draws to a close take time to reflect on what we have done this year ... for ourselves and for others.  Reflect on your achievements and to let go of the things that no longer serve you.  Take the lessons of this year into the new year in order to not repeat those mistakes and let go of the disappointments that will only cloud your vision  as you look forward.

I wish you and your loved ones a most magical festive season.  And am looking forward to sharing an awesome, amazing, abundant 2013 with you.

With warm holiday wishes from,

The  Slender Goddess

Happy holidays from my family to yours.

I beg your pardon?

I recently read my friend's blog about the things people say ... whether it be with or without intent ... and it really resonated with me (you can read the blog here: A Moment on the Lips …)

When I started this blog I was talking to (and about) my inner Slender Goddess and am actively encouraging her to come out.  The thing, I think, that spoke loudest to me was the meaning behind the message.  For those who haven't yet read the blog (and I encourage you to read all of them ... she's a fab writer!) the controversy is centered around a comment made, as follows, "mayo is for fat people who want to get fatter ".  What shouted out at me was the whole "fat people are fat because they stuff their faces with food all day" message ... and boy did that get my dander up!!!

Who the hell does he think he is???  Whether he is a good guy or not is beside the point ... that is an uncalled for slur.  And one made in ignorance.

As a young child I was petite, tiny even, and always small for my age.  But at the age of 7 my well-meaning parents took me to a Professor of Dermatology in an attempt to cure an inherited skin condition that is incurable.  I was given higher-than-adult doses of medication and by the age of 8 my endocrine system was damaged to the point that my weight ballooned so alarmingly quickly my grandmother had my mother take me to the doctor for a check up.  Thus began a lifetime battle with my weight, which yes sadly, is aggravated by what I eat.  That's not how I got here but it is, indeed, how I remain here.  No diet or lifestyle change makes any significant change for any extended periods of time.

So, where was I going with this little rant of mine?  Oh yes ... No matter who you are, or how nice a person you normally are, don't stand there and judge me by what you see.  You don't know me, you don't know my history and you certainly don't know about my daily struggle with my weight. Think before you open your mouth and show what an ignorant gnat you are by spewing  crap about what I look like.  There is NOTHING that you could possibly think or say that I have not said or thought myself.

The thing that bugs me the most though is, how the ignorance or just pure mean-and-nastiness of so many out there impacts on young, innocent children out there everyday.  By my age, if you've spent a lifetime battle with this problem, you've more than likely developed enough of a tough skin to deal with this ignorance or mean-spiritedness.  However, the younger generation won't have.  In my friend's, she also posted the link to a video clip of a new anchorwoman addressing this very issue and I encourage you to have a look at it (you can view it here:  CBC News Anchor-tv-overweight Oct 2012).

It has taken me MANY years and tears to call a truce on my battle thanks to the love of a
FABULOUS, supportive, AMAZING husband who KNOWS me, my history and my DAILY
struggle to stay in "a state of truce".  But please, ladies AND gentlemen (yes, I know and
acknowledge that men too battle with this issue but seldom get the support they need) I
beg of you, don't let other peoples' callousness break you down ... don't let other peoples'
thoughtlessness or ignorance get under your skin.  As my husband, always, so eloquently
puts it, "Listen you insignificant insect, I can lose weight but you'll always be an
insignificant insect!"  Well said my love.

No matter what, remember ... YOU ARE FABULOUS JUST THE WAY YOU ARE!!!  Support 
your children in fighting this form of bullying.  You are worth so much more than that.

As the festive season draws ever closer (YAYNESS!!! I LOVE Christmas!) be kind to yourself.
I know I'm worth it ... and so are you.

Loving festive blessings,
The Slender Goddess,
Cape Town